OH HOLY SHIT, Y'ALL, ARROW CAN SING!

There might be times, in all of my copious commentary, that you begin to believe that I do not like these shows.

Okay.  Well.  If we're talking about Supergirl that might be true.

But for the rest of them, it's not true in the slightest.  Production and performance are things that are important to me, and I can't help critiquing.  In my soul, however--in the deepest reservoir of my heart--I truly love these shows, and I adore the people who make them happen.

Which brings us to this video.

Posted by Stephen Amell on Saturday, 23 January 2016

This is the best thing I've ever seen.  I squee'd continuously for four minutes as I watched it, and then took a breath and squee'd some more. 

Stephen Amell can sing!!!!!  Did you know?!?!?! 

I didn't know! 

And John Barrowman loves him!  Which is just too precious.  Literally, there is nothing about this video that I don't like.

My only regret is that this happened, and I was not there.  I mean, these are clearly my people.  I belong with them, fan-girling it up in the crowd.

Sigh.  Maybe someday.

Arrow: The One Where I Get Derailed About Hamburgers

Now, where was I?

Oh, right...

no, no, no, no, no, no, NO, NO, NOOOOOOOOO!

 Oh, the sadness...

Okay, so, since it can't possibly be Felicity, who else would Oliver react that way for?  It has to be a woman, because Oliver is a good old-fashioned sexist who doesn't like it when men die, but also doesn't take it all that personally.  So... a woman.  One he knows, and cares about.  And Speedy--as a character--is far too much a part of the greater Arrow world for Thea to be the one who bites it.  So is Black Canary.  And White Canary is slated to be part of a spin-off.  Who does that leave us?  My money is on Felicity's mom.  I mean, it could be John's wife, but I don't think so.  I think Oliver's perky new mother-in-law is going to be the latest in the long line of "women who die to give Oliver purpose." 

Sorry, Captain Lance. 

Oliver, you jackass.  Go see your woman before she goes under the knife.

And we're BACK on the Island.  I'm just gonna take a little nap.  Someone wake me up when it's over.

WHAT?  I thought he was bailing on seeing her cause she was still unconscious.  She's AWAKE?  And you're gonna STAY THERE?  Oh my god, Oliver, if you were a real person I would slap you upside the head until you got some sense knocked into you.

Oh, that's cold, Oliver.  Send a man down to beat his own brother into talking?  I mean, no matter how much of a dick the brother's being... That's still cold.

Laurel, you gotta do me a favor.  You gotta eat a hamburger--maybe four or five hamburgers--and then go do some squats.  Because you have the skinniest damn legs I have ever seen on anyone, in my entire life, and if you actually tried to kick someone with one of those matchsticks they would BREAK RIGHT OFF.  Ain't no one gonna believe you actually kick ass with those things. 

 Not inspiring confidence in your roundhouse.

Look, I'm not trying to body-hate on any woman.  But this girl has gotten seriously skinny since Season 1, and it isn't healthy, nor is it a good role model for the girls who watch this show.  I aim to always be lighthearted and whatnot,  but every once in a while you gotta make a point:  Yon actress needs to eat more, and if there's a disorder in play then she needs treatment.

Now, back to our regularly scheduled nonsense.

You know, John, they have some remarkable drugs now.  Some of which will make you babble your head off.  You might try giving him some of those.  I mean, if the punching him thing starts to get old.

Has anyone else noticed that when Thea gets upset, she talks with her mouth closed the whole time?  Like, the whole time.  It's remarkable the enunciation she gets without ever parting her teeth.

Oh my god, Laurel was reasonable about the whole parental relationship thing!  It's like she temporarily joined another show, one where people are adult and reasonable about things.

HAH!  Hidden machine guns in the walls.  That was classic.  Very comic-y.  I like it.

Awww... that evil, creepy guy has a crush on Thea.  How sweet.  

Oh, Oliver... Oh no.  Machen is going to kill someone, and it's going to be on your head, because you let him go. 

Hey, Laurel, how come you only remember you're a lawyer part of the time?  Like, Oliver holding Machen: "Oh no!  Don't hold a man against his will for a personal vendetta!"  But, you know, running around beating the shit out of people while wearing black leather is just cooooooool.

Still really hoping we find out the Campaign Manager is working for Dark. 

Felicity is shockingly pretty in her "sick in a hospital bed" make-up. 

It's kind of absurd, actually.

Whoa.  That got dark real fast.  I'm not sure I'm comfortable when small children get used as plot devices.  

How come Thea can kick his ass on her own when she's pissed off, but when she's calm she and Oliver can't take him together?  It can't just be that fancy stick he has.  It's not THAT fancy.

Come ON people!  Does NO ONE ever consider just knocking the bad guy out?  Or restraining him with something more resilient than what appears, from the ease of cutting, to be butcher's twine?  THEY ARE VILLAINS, THEY ARE GOING TO TRY TO ESCAPE!  Let's all think about planning ahead next time, shall we?

AhahahahaHAHAHAHAH!  John goes to play make-up cards with his brother, and then he cheats!  Lolz.

I know I don't normally say this, but... DAMMIT, THEA, DON'T KISS HIM!!!  HE'S GONNA TURN OUT TO BE A BAD GUY!

Not looking good for Momma Smoak.

Oooooh... Look at Felicity getting all blood lusty.  Next she's gonna start practicing magic and flaying people, and we'll all enjoy it with horrified glee.

Flash: Some Dreams Just Aren't Meant to Be

Uh oh.  Post-coital dream of doom.  Well, it was bound to happen.  Sex opens the doors to chaos and terror, which is why the worst shit always happens once you start banging.  Just ask Buffy.

This is how you lose your soul.

Or get ants.  Whatever.

Joe, I love you.  You remind me of my own Daddy.  Only, you know, you've been arrested less times.  I mean, I assume.

Ahahahahahaha!   Someone on this show has a toddler, and they draw on the little demon for inspiration.

You know, again, a little honesty could help this situation immensely.  All Hardass has to do is tell them all what's going on.  You KNOW they're gonna help!  They're total suckers for this shit!  Hell, Barry will probably offer up his powers of his own free will!

"The turtle."  

Cisco, the mind boggles as to what you could be referencing.

Why has he never mentioned the Turtle before?  Oh, please.  Because he's Turtle Ex Machina, the magical tortoise hand that reaches down and plucks your from your impenetrable plot hole.

Oh, hey!  Jay and Caitlyn are alone together!  Which... means... time for a sad talk?  I mean, okay.  I was sort of hoping we'd find out if they ever did more than just kiss under the mistletoe, but... ALRIGHT!  YOU DO YOU! 

OH THANK GOD!  He's finally gonna tell Patty.  I mean, presumably something is going to happen at the last minute to keep him from telling her, but still... at least he's no longer being a giant dumbass!

I would give any amount of money to have the scene at the art show open with Jay looking awkward and unattractive in an ill-fitting tux.

Alas, some dreams just aren't meant to be.

I shall carry on, somehow.

I think it's an AWESOME idea to bring a date to go crime fighting.  If Cisco asked me to go as his crime night date, I would totally say yes.

Show of hands, who is willing to shoot one bad guy and one pseudo good guy in order to be on Team Flash?  I know I am.

Awww... Hardass... NO!!!!!!!  TURN AWAY FROM THE DARK SIDE OF KEEPING POINTLESS SECRETS!!! TURN AWAY!!!

So, just out of curiosity, HOW are they planning on catching him?  I mean, they still can't actually grab the guy.  So... what?  They're just gonna show up and hope he wets himself with fear and gives up?  This is a weird plan.

Okay, and as long as I'm talking about "bizarre shit that happens at the art party," can we discuss the fact that this dude freezes people and slows the Flash, but has minimal effect on a falling chandelier?  I mean, sure, it's falling SLOWER, but it's already been well established that Barry can move at a much higher speed than a falling object.  Which, in turn, would mean he has a greater kinetic energy.  And since they've described this guy's powers as draining kinetic energy, anything that could actually slow Barry that much should completely STOP a chandelier.  And don't anyone try the whole "oh, well, maybe he wasn't aiming at the chandelier" nonsense.  You see Patty?  See how she's frozen?  He's clearly hitting the room as a whole.  I know next to nothing about physics, and I still know this is ridiculous.  Can they PLEASE hire a science adviser for the show?  Pretty please?

I mean, it's pretty and all.  It just doesn't make any sense.

Right, so, you see how Patty's life was just in danger?  We can file that under the heading of "shit that would not keep happening, if she were actually prepared for the situation, instead of floundering around in the dark."  STOP TRYING TO PROTECT THE DAMSEL, AND LET YOUR BAD ASS COP GIRLFRIEND HELP YOU.  FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

Awww... Champagne in beakers.  How charming.  NOW KISS, DAMNIT.
Sigh.
Not like THAT.
Can the two of you please go work out your chemistry somewhere and come back when you can make me believe you actually wanna bang?

You don't have a good excuse?  YOU DON'T HAVE A GOOD EXCUSE?  HOW ABOUT YOU TRY THIS:
Sorry, Patty, I didn't actually ditch you.  Jay and Caitlyn dragged me out after a chandelier fell on me while I was trying to save you.  Oh, yeah, I was trying to tell you earlier, I'm the Flash.
No?  You... wanna try standing there like an idiot while a woman you really like tells you she either wants more from you or she's walking?  Mkay.  You do that then.

You know, I can understand Wally's rage.  But I kinda wonder at his insistence on blaming Joe for literally not knowing he was alive.  Also, I am ready to move past this part, to the part where he turns into Kid Flash.

Be honest.  This is better than drag racing, isn't it?

That's a really weird departure from the Turtle's normal MO.  I mean, he takes things.  Inanimate objects.  And thus far, until the Flash got involved, he didn't hurt anyone in the process.  He has all the hallmarks of a compulsive thief, and none of a homicidal villain.  Why would he suddenly... Oh.  Sorry.  I forgot.  Turtle Ex Machina.

Oh.  My.  Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahd.  This plot line between Caitlyn and Jay has officially reached the epitome of uninteresting.  They just jumped the shark, and I do not give a rat's ass.  I hope Jay DOES die.  Caitlyn used to be an actual character who did useful, interesting things, and now she just walks around pining and dressing in tight clothes.  The clothes are fine but the pining is GETTING REAL OLD.

SEEEEEEE?  SEEEEEE?  THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T TELL PEOPLE WHO YOU ARE.  THEY END UP WALKING AWAY.

 These boots are made for walking.

That's just what they'll do.

See, today, the boots are gonna walk away from you.

WHOA!  You stuck that thing up that poor man's NOSE.  Not cool, Bra.

Oh, Hi Eobard!  I recommend you hide, cause otherwise you're gonna get shot.  By like, at least 4 different people.

Supergirl: Euphemisms for Days

Okay.  Can we all just go ahead and learn our lesson?  If you are working in, say, a maximum security facility, do NOT just open the door to a madman because you see his feet on the floor.  It's a terrible idea.  Terrible.

Also, consider taking away his death yo-yo.  Just a suggestion.

Oh... Oh no.  What is with the red piping on her costume?  How have I not noticed this before?  It's terrible!  And why does it end right at the tip of her boobs?  Like, did the producer come to the costume designer and say "You know, she's already flying around in a mini skirt and spanx, but I don't think this outfit is sexualized enough.  Can we do something to emphasize her nipples?"

 You see it, too, right?

You could hang a tassel off that thing.

"A woman with brains who gives up everything for love inevitably finds herself staring into an existential abyss that men, babies, and cardio bars simply cannot fill."  PREACH, SISTER!

OH!!!! DADDY ISSUES!!!!!

About time we had a Win episode, but--and this is just a random thought--couldn't we have discovered that he's secretly an exotic dancer instead?  Wouldn't that be more fun than finding out his daddy is a psycho?  Can't you just picture it?  Cat, Kara, and Alex go out for a night of female bonding, complete with a fistful of crisp dollar bills, only to find that the featured performer for the night is none other than our favorite cardigan-wearing computer dork.

Yup.  It'd look about like that.

Hey, Kara just hugged Win!  I guess that means they're engaged now.  I mean, according to Supergirl-World logic.

Wow.  Alex has a major lady boner for J'onn's powers.  I mean, I do, too, but I'm a fan girl and she's a trained agent, so I expected better of her. 

Lucy, you are disappointing me so much right now.  You want to work for a kick-ass powerful woman, so you're desperate to get your boyfriend's approval?  OMG.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I swear, the "bad guys" in this show are the best.  Henceforth, Alex will be known as Mata Hari.

What is this bullshit?

Didn't this woman JUST point out that Win didn't need to talk into the mic?

For fucks sake, people.  Get it together.


Kara, you don't need to look so upset.  You are faster than a speeding bullet.  Just go put on your lovely new nipple-emphasizing suit and blitz on over there.  It's not like the FBI can keep you out.



Snerk.  I'm pretty sure Supergirl just admitted to being a pot smoker.  
Hilarious.  
Of course, that does lead one to wonder what a Superperson would be like, high as a kite.
 I offer up this possible scenario.



Do you think "creepy little doll" is a euphemism of some sort?  I kinda hope it is.  But, on the other hand, that would drastically lower Win's chances of ever getting laid.

Hot damn, Mata Hari.  You clean up good.

I LOVE CAT GRANT.
IT IS MY GREATEST ASPIRATION TO GROW UP AND BE LIKE HER.
Except for the part about owning my own multi-million dollar corporation.  That I don't really care about.

Ummm... you've already got it in your mouth.  And you're enjoying it.  Spitting it out is just silly.
(Talking about the snail eggs.  Get your mind out of the gutter.)

We didn't really need the red eyes, guys.  The comment about narcissism and ill-kept facial hair was enough of a clue.

 Sigh.  I dislike the way they pick and choose which powers J'onn will use, based on the plot.  When he was captured, they suddenly forgot he could phase shift.  Now that this guy is asking about Code Phoenix, they've momentarily taken away his telepathy.  STOP CHERRY PICKING THE POWERS, PEOPLE!  JUST WRITE BETTER PLOTS.

WHAT?  WHAAAAT?  HE CAN MEMORY WIPE, BUT NOT READ THE GUY'S MIND?  Golrammit.  I hate, hate, HATE lazy plot devices.

You know, whenever I'm sneaking OUT of my covert mission, I always drop my disguise.  It gives the whole thing an irresponsible thrill.

Alex, I'm just gonna point out that now, while you're all tarted up, would be a great time to make your move on Hank.  Look at him.  He needs comforting.

Does anyone else feel like Kara is making a speech about how she's gonna save Win with the power of her magical hoo-ha?

Well apparently Win does.

Win's daddy is super cray-cray.  Totally batshit bonkers.  That is a seriously fucked up plan he's got.

Oh... it's James and his plot device.  Sorry, I forgot you guys were on the show.  

You know what I need?  I need a Supergirl costume to wear while I snuggle up on the couch and eat pizza and complain about my love life.  

Tell me the costume doesn't make it better.

Reformed Nerd with a God Complex.  Huh.  Apparently Alex and I have the same taste in men.

The Absolutely Breathtaking Abominable Bride.

Due to the highly irregular nature of the airing schedule of Sherlock, when we found out there was going to be a single Victorian-era episode coming out at the beginning of this year those of us who are fans of the show all did something like this:

I mean, at least, I assume we all did.  Maybe it was just me.

Anyway, I was a little nervous when I finally sat down to watch the long awaited fan fodder.  I mean, Sherlock is unimaginably brilliant, just as it is.  What was going to happen when they tinkered with the formula?  Was it going to be--could it possibly be--as good as the original?

Turns out it bloody well could, and I should have known it all along.  After all, the brilliance isn't based on a simple gimmick, it's carefully crafted through every discipline which contributes to the art of film, and the result is nothing short of a masterpiece.

Basically I'm saying that Sherlock is like the cinematic equivalent of the Sistine Chapel.

I know.  I can't believe this image actually exists, either.

The script?  It is brilliant.  The cinematography?  Gorgeous.  The special effects are carefully chosen and seamlessly interwoven.  The costumes are perfect.  The scenic design is breathtaking.  The lighting is Gothic and illusory.  And then when all of that magnificence is put together, it provides a stage on which a handful of sublimely accomplished actors give a performance that is nuanced, varied, and altogether magical.

I literally cannot say enough good things about The Abominable Bride.  And yet, I have no desire to ruin it for anyone who hasn't seen it.  So, just to be clear...

SPOILER ALERT


FOR REALSIES.  I'M ABOUT TO SPOIL THE WHOLE THING.


OKAY.  I WARNED YOU.

Let's start with a shot of the boys, looking dapper as fuck.

I think one of the biggest misconceptions about Sherlock is that it's a mystery show.  It isn't.  For certain, there is a mystery in every episode, and that mystery drives the action that takes place.  But I really think Sherlock is more of a character drama than a mystery, and it's evident in the fact that it isn't the mystery that enthralls us--it's the character and relationship of the two men who are central to the story.  That relationship is complex and deep, and it's thrilling to get a chance to see it from the inside of Sherlock's mind.  Because, after all, almost every moment of The Abominable Bride takes place in Sherlock's head, which means when we see Watson we are seeing him as he appears to Sherlock.

And, honestly, the way Sherlock sees Watson is really touching.  In Sherlock's mind, John sees and understands things that Sherlock doesn't.  Watson is the one that notices that Lestrade is frightened, not embarrassed.  He sees that Hooper is a woman when Sherlock is oblivious.  He notes the consumption Amelia Rigoletti was suffering from.  More importantly, Watson is the one who sees Sherlock's emotions, even the ones he tries to deny.  If it wasn't already clear from the rest of the episode, the scene by the falls really hammers it in:  John Watson is the emotional tether that keeps Sherlock from going over the edge of his staggering intellect.

Metaphor, thy name is Reichenbach.

It isn't just Watson that we get to examine, though.  Inside Sherlock's head we get a number of interesting tidbits about the people who surround him.  Mycroft's intellectual superiority is stated more clearly here than it ever has been.  We get shown just how much Sherlock respects and cares for Mary.  We get to see what might actually be remorse from him over his treatment of the women in his life.

In other words, we get to see the barest hint of all the emotions he keeps safely tucked away--hidden so deep inside that even in his own mind they're really only shown by the statements and actions of other people.

There's so much subtext in this episode, from the hints that this isn't really the past (we all did a double take when Mycroft said "virus in the data," right?) to the repeated mention of how the world sees Sherlock through the lens of Watson's stories (when in reality this is a story in which we get to see everything through the lens of Sherlock's memory palace).

So much subtext.

So, really, I lied when I said it wasn't a mystery.  But the mystery is the complex inner workings of Sherlock Holmes, and the clues are EVERYWHERE!!!

IT'S AMAZING!

And right about now is when I get so enthusiastic about how well done this entire thing is that I have to go calm down and have a cup of tea or something to keep from shouting in all caps for the rest of the blog.

So the story is wonderful, and the script is fantastic, and the whole damn thing is gorgeous, but what gives it wings and makes it fly are the performances of Martin Freeman and Benedict Cumberbatch.  Some divine benevolence must have given us these two actors as a duo, because they are so perfectly matched as a pair.  I adore them each for what they are, unto themselves, but when you put them together the strange alchemy of blending opposites creates sheer magic.

Sheer Magic

So, I guess what I'm saying is that I give this one two snaps up, with a twist and a kiss.  Now, for the love of god, could these actors stop being so popular, so we can have more Sherlock?

Supergirl: Take a walk on the Dark Side.

Does anyone else think it's weird that Astra's husband is either named after the negative prefix, or some very tasty Indian bread?

New term: Deer in plane lights

Okay.  Listen.  Whoever had the brilliant idea to show him lifting her feet off the ground in order to show how helpless she was...  Please remember...  SHE CAN FLY.  IT'S NOT GOING TO CHOKE HER, BECAUSE THE GIRL DOESN'T RESPOND TO GRAVITY.

Oh yeah.  No way they're gonna think you're banging the boss now.  I mean, its not like he gave you a new toy to play with.  Like the DEO.

To be clear, I am actually 100% in favor of Alex banging J'onn.  I bet the Martian Manhunter is dynamite in the sack.

I feel like Astra stopped by the My Little Pony Fashion Boutique, and got one of their white clip-in plastic hair extensions.  No?  Just me?  Maybe you need to take another look.

I give you: Spiral Curled Pony Hair

Dear Supergirl.  You are the worst interrogator ever.  Fluffy bunnies with tickle sticks do a better job at interrogation than you do.  Butterflies with honey kisses glean more information.  Astra's got freaking PONY HAIR, and she's better at being an emotional manipulator than you are.

I'm gonna go ahead and offer up my allegiance to team Astra.  I mean, from what we've seen so far, I'm pretty sure she was spot on.  And if she had a plan to reverse the damage to the planet's core, she would have saved millions of lives.  I'm not saying I won't change my mind later, but she'd have to have a plan that involved--I dunno--slaughtering every child born for the next twelve generations, or something like that, in order to make the salvation of Krypton not worth it.

OMG.  I want a super sibling who goes to my favorite food truck in another state and fetches me takeout when I'm down.  

Yup.  All I hear is "this is Lieutenant Tasty-Bread."

Okay.  It's super cute that they've got Hank tied up.  But J'onn J'onzz can phase shift.  Which means she doesn't NEED to save his ass.  He can sink right out of his bonds and through the floor, any ol' time he wants to.  Which really makes this whole "oh no, you captured Hank" thing kind of pointless.

Heh.  That was kind of subtly cool.  All of the General's staff are big burly dudes, and then he's like "if you'll excuse me, ladies."  This is the kind of thing I would be applauding as a dig at the patriarchy if the entire show wasn't such a massive betrayal of women in general.

Holy shit.  You know, someone on the writing staff has their eye on the general cluster-fuck that is our country.  Unfortunately, they're apparently in charge of writing the dialog for the antagonists.  It makes it hard to sympathize with those other guys that's we're supposed to be rooting for.

Amiright?

And we go from evil torture right back to the pink cardigan.  It's like visual ping pong.  In a bad way.

SHE. HAS. SUPER. HEARING.  CLOSING THE DOOR WILL NOT HELP!

Also, speaking of things that are a betrayal of women... Jimmy, I officially want to punch you in the face.  Oh, you found out Lord has a plan to take out the Kryptonians?  And your reaction is what?  To share this information, pool your knowledge, and let her help solve the problem like an adult?  No?  Oh, so you're going to lay out the information you've gathered, and ask her to wait to do anything until you can find out more, trusting in her ability to show restraint, like an adult?  No?  OH, YOU'RE GOING TO KEEP IT FROM HER, BECAUSE SHE'S A FEMALE AND IT'S YOUR NATURAL INCLINATION TO TREAT HER LIKE A FUCKING CHILD?  QUELLE SURPRISE!!!!!!!

Oh, and now he's using her fictional expectations in order to manipulate Winn.  I take it back.  I'm not gonna punch him in the face.  I'm gonna punch him in the nuts.

Cat Grant.  Freeing up Superheroes to save the world, by also making them destitute.  

See?  See?  This is what happens when you try to HANDLE A SUPER.

Do it!  DO IT!!! GO BAD!!!

Man, why you gotta talk her off the cliff like that?  You are harshing my buzz.

This scene has a real "I can feel the good in you.  Turn away from the Dark Side." kind of vibe to it.  All it needs is for Astra to have a giant black mask, and a voice like James Earl Jones.

Wow.  Kara's mommy is a wide eyed idealist, ain't she?

SO MUCH RAAAAAAGE.  If this were Superman, he wouldn't trust that saving that guy's life would have won him over.  He'd just melt the ends of the guns with his heat vision.  Done.  Why does Supergirl have to be SO DAMN GIRLY?

My face, at all the corn.  So, so much corn.

Supergirl Mid-season Finale: So Something Finally Happens.

Oh, hey nice lady who plays Astra.  You still need to work on your evil face.  And your evil voice.  And your evil everything. 

Don't feel bad, though.  You're real pretty.

Holy shit.  Supergirl just made a sound tactical decision.  I may have a heart attack and die from shock.

Listen.  Alex.  We need to have a talk.  You suck at being sneaky.  Because literally EVERYONE is going to notice that you started calling your boss by his first name all of a sudden.  Of course, most of them will probably just assume you're banging him, but still.  Your secret keeping skills need major work.

SHE HAS AN ICE BUCKET FULL OF M&M's!!!!  I WANT AN ICE BUCKET FULL OF M&M's!!!!

I will never stop laughing at that description of Winn.  Never. 

That handsome little hobbit who has more cardigans than you do.

Dear prop department, please calmly and quietly exit the 80's and join us in the present.  Why in the name of the rainforest would you go through them in printed form?  THIS IS WHY WE HAVE COMPUTERS, PEOPLE! 

That's right kiddos.  It was just a hug.  Which, of course, in TV land is equivalent to getting an intimate personal massage while naked in a hot tub. 

OH COME ON!!!!  Can't we just have an evil woman?  Like, do they ALL have to have some basic good in them?  Some instinct of motherhood?  Can't we just have her Aunt be a horrible, evil, conniving villain that we can hate with glee?  WHY YOU GOTTA GIVE HER A SYMPATHETIC SIDE?

Again.  Family crest on the PJ's is a little bit of overkill.  Not gonna let this go.  It's too silly.

And a CAPE, too!  

Oh.  My.  God.  They made Auntie Astra an environmental terrorist.  Holy shit balls.  I'm not sure I can handle this.

Cat.  Dude.  Dirk is setting you up.  Big time.  Fortunately, as one of the few characters on this show with brains, I'm sure you're going to realize that.

Nope.  We're gonna let Supergirl realize it with her Alien Ears.  Character development wise, I feel like this is a real winner.

Why is a white streak in your hair the ultimate sign of the evil twin?  For serious.  If I had twins, and one of them had a white streak in their hair, I would be like "Mother fucker.  I'm gonna have to get them henchmen for their birthday."

Uh, yeah.  Okay.  I mean, one of them is super speedy, and can fly out the window if the guy comes back early, but SURE!  Let's send the human to bug the computer.  GOOD PLAN, GUYS!

So, I don't get how this saves Cat.  I mean, sure, she can stick it to that other guy, but eventually the thing about her kid is gonna come out anyway.  Oh wait, in Supergirl land, does finding the bad guy retroactively undo all the mischief he caused?

That is some adorable male bonding going on there. 

 Totes Adorbs

YAY!!! BADASSES IN KRYPTONITE KEVLAR!!!!  Finally, we're gonna get some serious ass kicking going on.

Yeah, let's talk about Adam a little bit... HOW, precisely, did she save you?  Cause, you know, emails are still out there.  Just saying.

Also, does anyone else think it's interesting that Cat happens to have a son that's the right age to hook up with Kara?  Like, I'm thinking future plot line.

And, as long as I'm posing random questions... does Cat still not know Kara's name?  Or does Callista Flockheart not know that she's saying Keira?

Well, that happened sooner than I was expecting, despite the ridiculous number of obvious hints that Kara drops.  THIS IS WHY YOU STAY BACKLIT, DUMBASS.  SO THAT THEY DON'T HAVE ANY WAY TO CONFIRM THEIR SUSPICIONS.

HAH!  Maxwell Lord is NOT fucking around.  I like his style.

So, is that like--a sonic muscle flex?

Well, I'll be damned.  The girl finally delivered a line and sounded half way bad ass.  Maybe there's hope for her yet.