Supergirl: If you're gonna steal, steal from the best.

Hmmm... you know, there was this episode of Doctor Who, where the Doctor and Clara got attacked by face huggers that gave them dreams to keep them from trying to fight off the alien that was liquifing their brains.  Since, last we saw, Kara was getting attacked by a face hugger, and since she's clearly having some kind of pleasant hallucination as a result, I'm gonna go ahead and call this a blatant rip off.  Of course, if you're gonna steal, might as well steal from the best.

Ehrmegerd.  You know, when I'm sick, I always wear an overly elaborate gown with the symbol of my house upon it.  OH NO WAIT, I DON'T, BECAUSE NO ONE FUCKING DOES THAT.

 Who sleeps in a fucking belt?  Seriously.

Oh look!  She's got on different earrings!  Perhaps this is some sort of lame attempt to reassure us that her ears were pierced back on Krypton.  Of course, when I say "us" I really mean "me" because as far as I can tell no one else gives two shits about this.  And, of course, as far as I'm aware the Supergirl show runner has no idea that I've been bitching about this all season, so maybe it's really just a chance to change her bling.

Well, of course it's not technically a face hugger, because if your star is that pretty you don't want to cover up their face.  But, in essence it is the same as a face hugger.

J'onn, you took the words right out of my mouth.  What the hell are those guys doing there?  Damn.  They let just anyone wander into that "secret" base.  Next thing you know they're gonna be holding a sock hop in there, for the obligatory Sadie Hawkins Dance Episode, where Supergirl will have to decide which of her dreamy suitors to take to the DEO Ball.

My goodness, Alex, that's a very intimate way of questioning someone.

NOW KISS!

Dude, I'm really enjoying all the bro bonding that Win and Jimmy are doing.  Perhaps someday they'll both realize that it would never work with a super hero, and they'll turn to each other for comfort.  They'd make a lovely couple, wouldn't they?  In my mind, this will happen.

OH YES.  Why on earth would you have J'onn pretend to be a doctor, and have him call Cat, informing her that Kara is in the hospital?  THAT WOULD BE A SILLY PLAN.  FAR BETTER TO HAVE HIM SHAPE CHANGE AND TRY TO BE AN ASSISTANT FOR A DAY.
Well, better for me, anyway.

Oh.  My.  God.  Melissa Benoist pretending to be J'onn J'onzz pretending to be Kara Danvers is the best thing ever.

Max Lord to the rescue.  Just don't get all chummy with him, Alex.  Remember he's a bad guy and, more important, he keeps trying to kill your sister.

 The look of utter fear, when you realize it's time to try to sound evil, 

and you know it's more than you can handle.

That pretty lady is SO TERRIBLE at being a badass.  I just want to give her a hug.  I will say "It's okay, pretty lady.  We can't all play terrifying, mass-murdering generals.  Some of us were meant to play mothers, and, like, kindly doctors and shit."

Alex, honey, you're in Kara's mind.  That gun isn't real.  I'm not sure why you've pulled it, but you might as well put it away. 

That was actually a hell of a monologue.  Well done, Chyler Leigh.

Oh, she mad, bro

Damnit, Kara, you broke rule #1.  I don't get how kids these days graduate without knowing rule #1. 

HOLY BALLS!  ALEX HAS A KRYPTONITE SCIMITAR!!!

Oh pretty lady, I guess you don't have to be a badass anymore.  You can just be the memory of a mother.  It's okay.  It's really your strong suit, anyway.

It will be on a night like this, that Win and Jimmy finally 

express their love for one another.

So, it might just be me, but I feel like that episode... did not suck as much as they typically do.  In fact, I think I might have enjoyed it.  Oh god, what's happening to me?

Maybe I have a face hugger.

Why I'm Already Angry About Wonder Woman.

Wonder Woman isn't going to be out in theaters until June of 2017.  We've still got to get through a whole rash of superhero movies between now and then--seriously, there are TEN of them--and I'm sure those movies will give me plenty to talk about, should I be in the mood.

(Of course, when am I not in the mood?)

But there's something that's been bothering me for a while, and since I finally watched Haywire today that low level ire has simmered over.

Now, let's be clear.  When I heard there was going to be a Wonder Woman movie, I wanted Gina Torres for the role.  I didn't care that she was probably older than the studio was looking for.  I didn't care that she's a person of color, and would therefore get people's panties in a wad.  I didn't care about those things because she would have been brilliant in the part.  BRILLIANT.  I am never going to get over being bitter that she wasn't cast.

You'll always be my Wonder Woman, Gina

 

That being said, I was fully prepared to accept someone else.  I wanted someone badass.  Someone that I could believe had spent her life training for war.  Someone with some muscle on her body, who didn't look like she'd fall over in a strong wind.  Someone who had the kind of personal threat level that made you take her seriously.

You know what's coming, right?

*facepalm*

This is Gal Godot.  Miss Godot is probably a lovely person, and I am not trying to be a hater.  I would like, however, to draw your attention to the extremely delicate nature of her person.  Her itty-bitty arms, her teeny-tiny waist, and the fact that she has so little body fat that I'm fairly sure her boobs have gone on walk-about.  Some people find this to be the epitome of beauty, and I am not trying to upset those people.  I'm not saying she isn't pretty.

BUT SHE'S NOT A FUCKING WARRIOR PRINCESS.

Look, I'm a reasonable human being.  I know I don't get to personally approve the casting choices of the movies I feel invested in.  But for FUCK'S SAKE, couldn't they have cast someone a little more believable?

I'm sure you've all been wondering how Haywire fits into this.  Well...

This is Gina Carano.  Miss Carano is a former mixed martial artist champion, and she stars in the movie Haywire.  Please take a moment to notice just how serious this woman is about her muscle tone. 

Do I actually care that they didn't cast Gina Carano as Wonder Woman?  No, not at all.  But do I care that they didn't cast someone LIKE her? 

Yeah, a whole lot.

I've heard the rumors that Gal has hit the gym and really dedicated herself to building muscle mass.  And I honestly give her props for that.  But I am never going to stop being mad that the studio chose a woman who could fit in sample sizes over a woman who could actually kick the shit out of someone.

I bet Lucy Lawless is pissed about it, too.

The X-Files: Like a Midlife Crisis, Only Better

Season 10 of The X-Files only has six episodes, which means we're halfway through now.  Here's what I've seen so far:

Episode 1: The crushing fear that occurs when you realize that everything you thought was true is false, and that you are completely out of control in a chaotic and terrifying world.

Episode 2: The regret and sorrow that can come from even the best decisions, as you grow and change and miss out on the road not taken.

Episode 3: The understanding that most of what we do with our lives is really very silly; juxtaposed against the light-hearted euphoria you experience when, every once in a while, you get your life's work validated.

Is it just me, or is this season about being an adult?

I didn't post about the second episode.  I had said everything I wanted to say about the anxiety I felt watching this conspiracy unfold, and I wasn't sure I could handle commenting on Mulder and Scully's regrets over their lost child.  I just braced myself and hit the play button on Episode 3, expecting more soul-wrenching revelations that would leave me completely unwilling to write about them.

But then!!!!  OH THE JOY!!!

It's a Were-Lizard!  (Or, rather, I suppose, a Were-human, as his natural state is that of the lizard.)  It's a restoration of faith!  A moment of clarity on an otherwise dark path!  An expression of camp unlike any I've ever seen!

 And, honestly, that's saying quite a bit.

It's charming, funny, and a lovely episode, while at the same time being a rather blatant indictment of the human existence.  It both fits within the greater theme of realization for this season and yet completely breaks the mold thus far of dark and painful drama.

It's almost enough to make the butterflies come to life again.

I'm a little scared to watch Episode 4.  I'm afraid it will take my half resurrected butterflies and grind them into pulp, or worse, turn them into some horrifying zombie butterflies that flutter eternally without joy.  Still, even the fear of Zombie Butterflies isn't enough to stop me now.  So I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens.

Legends of Tomorrow: Because Science is for Losers.

I'm not entirely sure why, but for some reason the flashbacks on this show do not make me want to scream and throw things at the screen.  Maybe it's because I'm too busy giggling at the terrible "Egyptian" scenery and costumes.

 Ancient Egypt.  Full of bathrobes and torches.

OH.  MY.  GOD.  Captain Hunter, that is the WORST IDEA EVER.  EV-ARH.  You will disrupt the time stream and create a future that simply cannot be predicted with any degree of certainty.  You, yourself, are likely to blink right out of existence.  There's a high probability that you will not only FAIL to save your wife and child, you will cause them never to have been born in the first place.  WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?

Snart, I love you.  They should have just named you Snark, and then my joy would have been complete.

Hey, so, here's a good question...  Savage survived being double teamed by Flash and Arrow...

Sorry, I just need to process what I said for a minute...

 NOW KISS!!!

Anyway, given that they know PRECISELY where Savage will be in 2015, why not just go there and track what happens to him after the cross-over episode?  They know he's not really dead, right?  So logically, they should go hide on site and find out what happened to his ashes after Oliver and Barry hit him with their giant rod.  (Sorry, couldn't resist.)  They'd see Malcolm take the ashes, and all they would have to do then would be steal the urn, wait for Savage to resurrect, and immediately stab him with the dagger.  Done.  Finito.  With minimal damage to the time-stream, no less.  Why are they dicking around in the 70's instead?

Whoa... "I've seen men of steel die, and dark nights fall..." Or, as could easily be inferred from the context "dark knights fall."  Is Rip Hunter saying he's seen the end of Superman and Batman?  Pretty big talk there, for a minor DC property.

Nice, apparently Sara Lance is not just an extremely badass salmon ladder expert.  She's also a half way decent tactical thinker.  I mean, at least when it suits the plot.

Really?  Your suit can't hold up to BLOOD?  I mean, blood is all metaphorically amazing and whatnot, but it's not like it has a super high salinity or acidity.  Nothing that would cause mechanical failure in anything that can withstand salt water.  I'm disappointed, Ray.  What happens when someone hits you with a blast from a super soaker?

I will literally never get tired of the Fashion Room.

I like the connection they're forming between Sara and Rip.  Everyone else on the ship has a buddy.  (Well, I guess Kendra's buddy just died, but... I think they're gonna pick up another version of him somewhere.)  They essentially come in pairs.  I like to think that these two are gonna be bros in the long run.  I can imagine them drinking beer together.

Ray, I seriously don't get how you ever got into the hero gig.  You are so emotionally delicate.  I mean, being upset over your fiancèe?  Totally legit.  Being upset because the first half-assed time you tried going inside a vein it didn't work out?  THAT'S JUST BEING A WHINER!  Reach down, find some reproductive organs, take a good hold, and get back in there.

 Be honest.  You'd want to go for a joyride, too.

Oh, now that's interesting.  That wasn't a preview of things to come, Rip already tried to kill Savage.  Presumably more than once if there's a whole legend about him.  I mean, you don't exactly get to be legendary if you bumble one assassination attempt.  That's more like the story that the goons tell when they're drinking whiskey and laughing about how invincible they are.  "Do you remember that one guy?  Yeah, the one who tried to jump him in the temple?  Boy, that asshole sure screwed the pooch..."

Rip Hunter once again proves himself THE WORST FUCKING TACTICIAN IN THE HISTORY OF TIME, and that's really saying something.  Let's all repeat after me, children.  The dead are beyond pain.  To sabotage your own hope of a viable plan just in order to save a hunk of meat is so far beyond stupidity that words cannot fully encompass your foolishness.

I don't get why the writer's let the plot hinge on stupidity.  It's frustrating.  Especially when they could have said "oh, there's a ritual Savage can do with the body that will give him more power/corrupt Carter in all future lifetimes/separate his soul from Kendra's forever."  Then it would make total sense to disrupt all their plans to go fetch him, instead of calling into question how time itself has managed to survive with "guardians" like Rip protecting it.

Goddamnit, Snart.  We just went over this last episode.

WHY DOES EACH PERSON ON THIS FUCKING SHIP HAVE TO HAVE A CHANCE TO LEARN FOR THEMSELVES THAT MUCKING WITH THE TIMELINE IS BAD?

Dude, I get that this isn't the etymology of "cocksure," but from now on I'm going to start calling men who are full of o'erweening pride "dick-arrogant."

What?  Okay, hold up... the FRAGMENT damaged your suit?  Because, I guess, it can withstand being shot by bullets and lasers, but a flying piece of knife is just TOO MUCH TO HANDLE?  Really?  A) That was totally not obvious from the earlier segment and B) it's only slightly more believable than the mystery of the corrosive blood.

Is it just me, or did they reuse the set for the West home and just put in new furniture for Daddy's Snart's place?

 It's very distinctive architecture.

OH MY GOD, DO YOU NOT GET IT?  Your sister might NOT be born!  Or she might be born as someone different than the girl you know!  Because of your interruption, maybe your mom and dad bang on a day when different planets align, and you get a brother instead!  Or a little girl who has an odd and incomprehensible predilection for obeying the law.  For fucks sake!  You are the most irresponsible time travelers EVER.

*Dear Arrow-verse writers, Please write a trio of cross-over episodes where all the characters we know on Flash and Arrow live through a week of chaotic random changes in their lives, caused by the Legends mucking about with history.*

Still not tired of the Fashion Room.

Lesson #2: If you're leaving a bad guy behind, make sure to fully incapacitate him.  (Lesson #1 is Never Monologue, obviously.)

I'm kinda glad the Professor really didn't remember Ray.  I would hate to think he was just being a dick before.  I don't want him to be that petty.

Hold up, did they just escort Rip and Sara out of the room where Carter's body lay, down a long corridor, and back into the same damn room?  Or, like, did they have someone super burly snatch the body up and take a short-cut to lay him out on a different bier?

Four thousand years?  So Rip only tried to kill him once?  SERIOUSLY?  And they made up a whole legend about it?  Wow.  Someone's minions have some serious time on their hands.

 Good call.  Now you can keep using the same actors, 

and don't even have to do age make-up on them. 

Fun fact.  Corpses don't bleed.  Once the heart stops pumping, the blood pools and settles, and if you cut a corpse it will only ooze a little.  But what the hell.  Science is for losers.

That was a weirdly specific and useful way to cry out during a vision.  

I'm so glad they have hokey criminals on the team, so we can have hokey criminal dialogue.  It's my favorite.  I am filled with mirth each time I hear such cheesy lines.

Uh, what the hell is Savage using as a weapon?  Is that pure mystical energy he's shooting from the dagger?  Cause, just a reminder, he's not actually a time traveler.  He shouldn't have tech like that available, so I'm assuming it's magic...

 Phenomenal power.  Very poor aim.

Okay, Rip, now drag him back to the ship before he has time to heal, put the dagger in Kendra's hand, wrap your own hand around hers, and drive it into his heart.

Or, you know.  Just leave him there.  Because... reasons?

Wow.  Wow, Ray.  Way to be a glory hog.  You dick.  I liked you better before you got so concerned with recognition.

You know, now that they know Carter's body can be used for nefarious purposes, I do believe cremation and a scattering of the ashes would be a more proper tribute to his life's purpose.

Also, seriously, I'm very surprised they didn't come up with a way to resurrect him.  I guess they really are going to find him in a different time line.  Probably one where Chay-ara got killed early, so that they're both alone.

Indeed, Jackson.  "What the hell" is the perfect response for parachute pants.

 I am SO looking forward to this.

Arrow: Return of the Everyone.

Oliver, this is what we call "denying an obvious plot point".  I admit, it happens most frequently in D&D, but, really, it can happen anytime.  OF COURSE IT'S THE PIT, YOU DUMBASS.

HOLY SHIT IT'S ROY!  I DID NOT EXPECT THAT.

Hah.  Laurel, calling it like it is.  They have seen way weirder shit than a doppelganger.

Tiny Device.  Really huge boom.

Dear Arrow Writers,
I realize, at this point in the season, that you're basically stuck with whatever island plot line you've got going.  There's not a whole lot you can do about the fact that Oliver is currently being tortured for information regarding some charts.  That being said, I really want to urge to you wrap up this COMPLETELY POINTLESS STORY LINE and never, EVER return to that mother-fucking island, EVER AGAIN.  Find some other way to introduce characters/pivotal plot points.  If you can't come up with anything else, I feel comfortable saying that your audience would probably accept an entire season of doppelganger episodes at this point.  Just please, for the love of film, no more flashbacks.
Thanks,
A fan.

No.  Fucking.  Way.  I should have known.  Talk about your foreshadowing.  "Who else is going to make a dramatic return?"  OH, HAI, SHADOW!  HOW YOU DOING?

I heart you, Curtis.  I heart you so much.  My love for you is pure and untarnished by cumbersome plot lines. 

I love the internet, too, Felicity.  Don't let the poorly named bad guy kill it.  Please.

 Man, I cannot believe you shot me.

 Really?

Hot damn.  This is like old home week on Arrow.  Who are we missing?  Can Thea see Moira Queen in a dream or something? 

So, it just suddenly occurred to me that Roy really should have reached to stop Thea from falling off the roof.  I mean, I know he was trying to keep a low profile and everything, but I still think instinct would have had him trying to catch her.

Has anyone else considered how insanely weird it is to have Malcolm Merlin lecturing Oliver on the morality of respecting another person's autonomy?

WHOA.  WHOA.  John TOTALLY just KILLED that guy!  Like, I thought we were all "Oh, we don't kill people anymore."  "Oh, killing people in the name of a greater good is super wrong, if you go down that path it's gonna stain your soul." And John just straight up fired two shots into that dude's BACK.  Hypocrisy, thy name is show expediency.

 Oh, sure.  OLIVER always has to make an entrance.

I am so fucking tired of "there are reasons, but they don't matter."  OF COURSE THEY MATTER.  Did you stab him 'cause you wanted his Nike's?  NO.  He attacked you and tried to drown you.  THIS IS PRETTY SIMPLE STUFF, MORALLY.  But no.  Fucking TV shows.  Always gotta be making shit complicated.

I do not enjoy whatever random ass, studio bullshit is keeping Roy off the show.  I want he and Thea to ride off into the sunset together.  Possibly not in a mini-van, though.  Those things suck.

Felicity... why is your Daddy a supervillain?

Really?  They're shaking hands now?  I am very uncomfortable with this.  Let's not forget that Malcolm is NOT a nice man.

Talk about fiction.  No doctor is ever that straightforward. 

Oh I get it.  They had to suddenly make Malcolm be on the side of light, so Oliver wouldn't just be like "Sure, no problem, been wanting to do that for ages."

Glad you're on my side buddy.

Too bad I have to kill you.

Flash: Oh, Hardass, Say It Isn't So!

Hey, once Wally becomes Kid Flash, will Barry's intro change to say "I am one of the only ones fast enough to stop them"?

Oh, Hardass.  You don't have to do this.  TURN AWAY FROM THE DARK SIDE, HARDASS.

Iris, why is your drag racing outfit so very early 90's?

Know what?  I think Flash has now mentioned Oliver's mayoral campaign more than Arrow has since Felicity got shot...

I gotta say, I'm not feeling a whole lotta sympathy for the guy eating boiling tar right now.  I mean, Karma, man...

Okay, I get that this whole scene is to provide some tension while Hardass plants the evil speed sucking device, but I just want to cut out the ominous music and splice together the conversation that leads to Barry and Cisco realizing that Cisco just created the meta-human tinder.

 Nope.  Not starting that fetish.

Wow, Hardass.  You're gonna steal his speed AND you're gonna be mean to him?  Way to double down, man.

AHAHAHAAHAH!!! Oh Cisco, you are the best tech genius in the world, but Felicity beats you hacking.  No lie.  Don't take it personally.  Part of friendship is honesty.

Iris, I don't think that's the most safety conscious way of going about trying to shut down the races. 

A tortured half confession is a thing you should listen to, Barry.  Glossing over it when someone says they're going to betray you is a rookie mistake.

The symbiotic reactions between Hardass and Cisco are a constant delight to me.  I will be devastated if this season ends with Hardass returning to Earth 2, or, even worse, gaining the enmity of the team, because then there would be no more moments like this.

 THESE NITROUS GRENADES!!

Whoa!!!  Well holy hell, after all that I have to say that the LAST thing I expected was for Hardass to just come clean like that!  Of course, since he actually did the right thing, NO ONE ELSE WILL.  Jesus, Joe, you're gonna punch the man?  Before you even ask him why?  And then throw him in a cell?  WHEN YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HIS REASONS?

So, Tar Pit is actually exactly like Clay Face, except for the origin.  How come they bothered with the name change?

Okay, seriously?  If Tom Cavanagh goes away at the end of this season I'm gonna be hella pissed.  Because he gives a whole lot of depth to that character, and this show as a whole.

Wally, that was really sweet.  I can't wait for you to get your powers.

DAMN RIGHT, BARRY.  PREACH.

Oh, now that IS exciting.  I want to see Earth 2's Barry.

Pretend Cisco is in this Shot.  Apparently he skipped Comic Con.

I'm going to take a minute to say something about the cast of Flash, and, bear with me, it's going to be pretty positive.  

The actors that they have on this show are really phenomenal.  I tend to gush over Tom Cavanagh, because I happen to love the character of Harrison Wells, but the truth is they're all good.  They get handed absolute dirtball lines on a regular basis, and somehow make them work.  They do even better when they get good material, and while I'm not overly enthused about the general plot arc, I have to say the writers of Flash are really good at comedy.  Anyway, I hope someone tells these guys what a good job they do on a consistent basis with what could be really leaden material in less skillful hands.  They're the reason the show works, and I really hope they're getting some respect for it somewhere.

Supergirl: BRING ME MORE THIENTHE!

So, does anyone else find that opening shot of Maxwell Lord to be oddly dramatic?  I mean, was he sleepy?  Was he resting his eyes in the elevator?  Or maybe he was meditating or something?  I dunno, but it definitely seemed weird to me.

Well, he might be an evil genius, but at least he's got the balls to do his own dirty work.

That... is gonna require some explanation.  Can someone please summon the faux science team to explain how Maxwell Lord created a shapechanger out of a functionally dead girl?

The best thing about J'onn J'onzz is how few fucks he gives about Earth norms.  I'm just waiting to see David Harewood in a pair of briefs and a cape.

Dear Costuming Department,

Please make it happen.

I like how they just directly jump to the conclusion that it has something to do with Maxwell Lord and his random unconscious girl.  Like, it's more believable that he can magically make a random girl in his lab fly and look just like Kara than, oh, I don't know, a clone's growth could have been accelerated.  And yet, despite immediately coming to the correct conclusion, they dismiss it instantly because she was comatose.  Cause THAT'S harder to explain than the flying, looking-like-Supergirl thing.

Oh, how cute.  Now the boys can both be all awkward about Adam, because there's nothing that says Strong Female Protagonist like having the men on the show struggle to suppress their unreasonable feelings of possessiveness.

Maxwell, you are a terrible father.  Don't teach your children to kill people they don't like.  It's a horrible precedent.


HAH!  Nothing like a newsworthy disaster to cock-block a superhero on a first date.

Supergirl, brawling on the rickety cable car is a terrible idea.  It's isn't quite as bad as teaching your super-powered minion to kill everyone she doesn't like, but it's still pretty bad.

Listen, Kara, I would like to encourage you to be the very first hero in the whole run of current television shows who chooses to be honest with someone early on in the relationship.  I really think it will help when you keep standing up Adam.

Maxwell Lord: Super Creep

Maxwell, you continue to disappoint me with your fatherly wisdom.  Not just disappoint, but actively creep out.  I'm considering punching you a little bit, until you stop being so damn creepy.

Um, also, I'm really disappointed in your villain skills, too, because rule #1 is DON'T EXPLAIN WHAT YOU DID TO THE GOOD GUYS.  Not until they're tied up over a vat of boiling acid or something.

Also, as long as we're making a list, I'm incredibly disappointed in your logical skills.  Batman always worried about what would happen if Superman went rogue, but did he expose his weapon and shoot his wad early?  No he did not. 

 This is how logical people treat helpful Kryptonians

Yeah, Jimmy, Win is right.  You got zero sorrows to drown, Mr I-Keep-Dating-The-Very-Pretty-Plot-Device.

Awww... Win has just officially been upgraded to "really good guy who officially deserves to be happy".  It takes a big person to tell someone else to go out and get the object of your own affections, because you know it will make both of them happy.

Who else wants to go drown their sorrows with these two?

HOLY SHIT!!!! TALK ABOUT THE WORLD'S MOST MASSIVE COCK BLOCK!!!!  I have a hard time envisioning anything more likely to keep you from getting laid than having a Bizarro version of yourself swoop down and carry you away from the dude you're making out with.  That was impressive.

Check that shit out.  Bizarro blows fire.  That's... bizarro. 

 I still wanna see the science.

So, we're just gonna accept that the kryptonite made her stronger, but also degraded her DNA splice to the point where she now no longer looks like Kara, and can be played by a whole different actress?  Sure, that's not weird at all.

Oh my god.  Cat Grant's reaction to Kara dating her son is everything I ever dreamed it could be, and more.

*Sniffle*  I am more sorry to see Adam go than I anticipated.  I hope he comes back, and they end up together.  He's a far more open and honest guy than Jimmy is, that's for damn sure.  And Win is apparently buying real estate in the friend zone, so...

Seriously, Max?  You're gonna send her after Alex?  You are such a giant dick. 

YEAH, KARA.  For serious.  Any guy out there who doesn't realize he wants you until he sees you with someone else does NOT get to come along and be comforting after you send the other guy packing.  Jimmy, you totes deserved that.

 The pierced ears STILL bother me.

Ummm... Alex, while I'm 100% in favor of you locking Maxwell Lord away in some deep, dark hole, I find myself unaccountably uncomfortable with you slapping a facade of legality on it.  It reminds me far too much of the current scary possibilities under the Patriot Act.

Dude, OMG.  OH MY GOD.  Please, let her take Jimmy, and Win, AND Adam!!!  I want to see a heartfelt conversation between the three men who like Kara while they're being held by her Bizarro twin.  That would be pure, unadulterated screen magic. 

Incidentally, I think it says something that I thought Bizarro would go after her sister, and instead went and picked up her crush.  I'm not sure if it says more about me or the show, but the writers and I definitely have different ideas about what "love" really is.

Huh... Max seems to be wearing more guyliner than he was when they put that hood on him.  Actually, I have to say, as the series goes on his make-up keeps getting heavier and his haircut keeps getting worse.  Do you think it's like, a conscious choice by the costumer?  Like, are they trying to take him all the way to Jareth, the Goblin King by the end of the series?

 You see it, too, right?

Damnit.  Damnit, damnit, damnit.  Instead of a brilliant comedic moment between the three boys, they're going to give us the trite and predictable trope.

Yes, yes, you love her.  BUT MY WAY WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER.

Hey, here's an interesting question... did they get her stunt double to play Bizarro?  That would actually be pretty cool...

James, you are a dumbass.  I mean, I kind of feel like at this point you don't deserve any kind of resolution with Kara, so I'm not really upset by this.  I just feel the need to clearly state it, in case you didn't know.

FACEHUGGER!!! Uh... if an Alien incubates inside a Kryptonian, do they get even scarier?  And, also, what might that look like?