Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Arrow: Collapsing Like a Flan In a Cupboard.

 I like my women like I like my flowers...

Well, it turns out that all it takes to make me crazy bored with this show is to take away the Felicity/Oliver dynamic.

Sure, I got a few chuckles.  The pop culture references were strong with this one.  Voldemort, Die Hard, Independence Day--all good for a laugh.  And I do love Curtis.  He's super cute.  And I always love seeing John Barrowman make a dick joke.  Hell, they even referenced my favorite member of team nerd, aka my imaginary houseboy, Cisco. 

But I was still bored.

 Thank you, Felicity.  Yes.  That was the exact look on my face while I watched.

Maybe it was the lackluster villain.  Sure, she's totes adorbs, but the bees just aren't menacing enough to bother me.  And when they coalesce into the bee man, well... That's just silly.  I mean, come on.  COME ON.  That was like Power Rangers special effects.  By which I mean ABJECTLY TERRIBLE.

It is sincerely hard to imagine a costume that would look LESS like it was actually a 
swarm of mechanical bees acting in concert.

Maybe it was the lack of substantive plot development.  I mean, sure, Curtis finally found the Batcave.  Uh, I mean... the Quiver.  Uh, I mean... the Bunker.  Whatever.  Anyway, he found it.  Great.  But that was, what?  Forty-five seconds of air time?  And then we go straight into "Great, we've found a Dude-licity, let's get cracking."  What?  For serious?  I'm with Captain Lance.  Can just anyone walk in there and get let on the team?

 Of course, it did lead to the best moment of the episode.
PARKOUR!

And, aside from that, what happened?  Let's see... Damien Dark is doing fuck all.  Oliver and the rest of the team are doing fuck all.  Malcolm is shit stirring, but that's just a constant, not really a plot advancement.  So, what precisely was this episode about?  Curtis taking one step closer to his terrific destiny?  The final duh-duh-DAAAAA moment when we see John's brother talking with Malcolm?  Was it really just forty-three minutes of filler?

 I liked you better on Bones.

So, yeah.  I was bored.  And disappointed.  And frankly do not understand why the writers felt the need to ruin what was, apparently, the only truly compelling part of the show.

LET'S JUST MOVE PAST THIS NONSENSE AND GET BACK TO THE KISSING PART, OKAY?

1 comment:

  1. I'm still torn. I still enjoy both Flash and Arrow, but there have been some weird spots. It's as if there is some culmination for all of this (e.g. Cave Idol McGuffin) that is always looming, and these are the details that we're supposed to remember at the reveal and go 'oh, THAT thing'.

    The cupid character - Yet Another Bow Wielding Adept (YAWBA) seems like an Adam-West-era-Batman type villain, but the rest of the story is trying to make Green Arrow dark and brooding. It's having your goofy and eating it too.

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