--The Originals
Yell more. Not less.
We've all seen it like a billion times. Admittedly, it happens more brazenly in supernatural dramas, where some mythical excuse for being an asshole makes it "okay" that some guy persists in being a dick long past the point where any rational human being would be able to justify such behavior, but we see it in non-supernatural dramas as well. It always goes like this:
Guy does some really, really, unbelievably dickish thing.
Woman gets justifiably upset.
Guy keeps being an ass.
Woman finally snaps and says not only what she really thinks, but also what the rest of us are thinking as well.
There is a long silence.
She sighs.
Then--even as I scream at the TV "DON'T SAY IT!"--she says it.
"I'm sorry."
Every. Single. Time.
This is because, in the grand scheme of things, we expect men to be narcissists, and we expect women to be self-denying and understanding. Don't believe me? Then I invite you to come along with me on a magical journey of enlightenment.
No male character is ever too dark for redemption. I particularly love to use Damon Salvatore in this example.
Not his first time ripping out a heart.
This is a guy who murdered his brother's best friend. He also murdered his (eventual) girlfriend's brother. He's emotionally manipulative, morally bankrupt, and incredibly, incredibly self centered. The only thing that finally convinced him to stop acting like the biggest asshole in the universe is because he fell in love, and in order to get the girl he chose to be a better person. But that isn't because he actually IS a good person. It's just the only means of attaining what he wants. Without fail, his desire for what he wants is consistently what motivates him, and the only time he applies anything even remotely resembling moral behavior to the situation is when he can't get whatever he's hankering for through his more typical form of villainy.
But do we hate him? No way. We love the guy. Damon Salvatore was a great villain, then he was a superb anti-hero, and now we're totally willing to root for him as the good guy.
Why? Because guys are supposed to be that way. Totally self centered. Totally focused on their own wants. We're all happy as clams to know that the only thing standing between this guy and a rampaging murder spree is the love of a good woman. It's cool with us.
And how are the ladies supposed to respond to this? Well, obviously they're supposed to be forgiving. Because charm will always win us over. And we know that ultimately, we're responsible for everything the men around us do. Who really holds a grudge about having their brother's neck broken, anyway?
Not this girl, that's for sure.
So fictional men are going to swan around being giant dicks. And fictional women are going to repeatedly do all the emotional work of keeping them in line. And that would be bad enough, but the thing that makes me want to tear my hair out is the way they keep apologizing for it!
Delusional, mistrusting, oddly obessed with you vampire breaks into your apartment at night, refuses to leave, and then acts like a dick, finally prodding you into giving him a piece of your mind?
Apologize.
Man with immense power and influence manipulates you into giving up your entire life in order to act as his arm candy, and one particularly trying night you snap and tell him he's forced you into something you don't want to do?
Apologize.
Recovering alcoholic tries to sublimate his grief by purchasing a freaking bar, and when you express some concern over this he blows up in your face and walks out on you?
Apologize.
I gotta hand it to my girl, Jessica Jones, though. Serial abuser offers to turn over a new leaf if only you'll give up your entire life and be his moral compass?
Drug his ass and throw him in a specially designed cell.
Don't apologize.
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