I'm gonna rewrite your intro for you.
My name is Oliver Queen. You can call me Ollie, if you're feeling brazen.
After five seasons, I'm still doing these ridiculous flashbacks. All my fans can hope is that in season six we'll finally have caught up to the present, and the madness will stop.
Since the costume designers were tired of dressing me in t-shirts, they've written a plot line where I get to be mayor. And everyone is super pleased, cause I look damn fine in a suit.
By night, they have finally given me some freaking sleeves, so I look less redonkulous.
I am... the man who likes to do the salmon ladder shirtless.
I am... the Green Arrow.
This time, on Arrow...
Someone needs to tell that dude that hockey masks are not appropriate gear for vigilantes on the side of justice. Friday the 13th saw to that, eternally.
OH MY GOD, IT'S LIKE THEY HEARD ME!!!! But why is he wearing a suit?
I'm with Felicity. That is super hot.
Oh look! Military scenes! Let's see... there's a crusty old white guy, and some rebels from somewhere European... awesome. Done. I know everything I need to know. Let's go.
HAH! Apparently they agreed with me, because they just went with "I don't have to tell you the kind of chaos that will ensue if they succeed." No sir, you do not. I assume standard issue chaos, sir.
I suddenly had a terrible feeling that John is going to get that poor little boy killed, and this is somehow going to send him back to Star City.
I imagine the direction for this scene was;
"Now turn and strut."
Wow, not one, but two, one for each time line we're following.
I can't decide if this makes me like the flashbacks, or hate them more.
Ugh. This whole middle section is mind numbingly boring. I am so tired of these people all having the same problems eternally. Where is the character growth? It's legitimately like we're back with Season 2 Oliver. And John? What is this crap about "trusting the chain of command"?
HAH! See! See!!!! The crusty old white dude is doing something underhanded. Trusting the chain of command is boneheaded.
Good for you, Curtis. NEVER LET A MAN TREAT YOU LIKE YOU'RE NOT WORTH HIS TIME.
Oh, the nostalgia.
You know, Felicity's standards for him have dropped so much now that they're not together anymore. She used to want him to be perfect. She used to get mad when he proved himself to be fallible. Now she just seems to accept it and help him through it. SEE? CHARACTER GROWTH.
Damn. I was really hoping I was wrong about that farm boy getting killed.
Uuuuuuuuunnnnnnnhhhhh... BORED NOW.
Can someone do something soon? Because this is laaaaaaaaaaaaaaame. Look, writers, if you're gonna try to go for emotional depth, you have to spend more screen time on emotional content. That's how this works. Otherwise you've just pasted some motivation on top of a twenty-hour fight scene each season.
Decide what kind of show your making and stick with it, because right now neither the violence nor the emoting is cutting it for me.
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