Legends of Tomorrow: Forgetting Physics

So... not to be morbid, but if Chay-ara and Khufu just killed themselves as soon as they regained their memories Savage wouldn't be able to siphon off their life force, and it would put a serious kink in his ability to stay immortal.  Why not just sacrifice yourselves for a few lifetimes, and when he's run out of mystical juice to stay alive then you can live all your future incarnations without fear?  Seems like a sound trade-off to me.

"Forgetting physics for a second--"  Oh, Sara.  You sweet, summer child.  "Forgetting physics" could basically be the subtitle of this show.

OH MY GOD, I HAVE FOUND MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT THIS SHOW.
THE FASHION ROOM.  

The Fashion Room; a plot based reason to treat your female star like a barbie.

Y'all, if you decide you want off this roller coaster because Captain Hunter lied to you, then I can't blame you for that.  But "winging it" with the time stream is a monumentally stupid idea.  I am disappointed in all of you, but especially those of you who are supposed to know something about theoretical physics.

Professor, I agree with Heatwave.  Both that you are a special kind of crazy, and that I like it.

Hey, look!  It's Damien Dark!  That's awesome.  I think it's nice that villains get to have cross-overs, too.

Damnit, Professor.  You were doing so well.  And then you acted like a boneheaded time travel rookie.  So now I'm doing this:

If you would like to know my reaction to the good guys who feel the need to exchange lame dialogue with the bad guy, instead of just grabbing his ass before he can start the countdown on the giant bomb, please feel free to reference the gif above.  It's multi-purpose.

So, we haven't really gotten an explanation of how they went from a human Priestess and a human Prince to people who periodically grow wings, have we?

Holy fucking shit.  Firestorm is badass.  He's so badass I'm not even bitching about the arming and fusing mechanisms for nuclear bombs, and how I don't think they work that way.

So, have we all learned our lesson?  Either trust the man who is used to being careful with his time travel, or don't ride around in his nifty little ship, m'kay?

 This is why we can't have nice things.

OYE!!! SCIENTIST BOYS!  Let's all put away our science dicks and stop waving them at each other.  It doesn't matter whose is longer.  The important thing is that you're both fond of yours, and each of you can respect that.  Right?

Srsly.  Carter.  I don't like you.  And I pretty much don't ever want you to get the girl, cause I think you're an ass.  But I'm gonna offer you a piece of advice anyway.  If you EVER want your mystical soul mate to willingly kiss you, you are gonna have to wait for her to make the first move. 

Wow.  Ray, did you even THINK about consulting with the rest of the B&E team?  Or were you temporarily possessed by the soul of Doug the Dog?

Okay, boys and girls, this is what we call "in party fighting."  If you've ever played an RPG, you know that this is the number one most likely thing to cause your party to completely fail at any objective set forth by the DM. 

See?  The DM got tired of your shit and dropped a cage on you.

OH FOR FUCKS SAKE, PEOPLE, HE TOLD YOU TO WATCH THE DOOR!  Jefferson I get, because he's just a kid, but Sara is supposed to be an uber assassin.  WHAT?  THEY DON'T TEACH YOU TO KEEP A LOOK OUT AT THE NANDA PARBAT ASSASSIN SCHOOL FOR HOTTIES?

Well, at least you managed to get the tracking thingie.  And the pot.

I love Leonard Snart.  That is all.  Carry on.

See, Carter?  I knew you could stop being a self-entitled, vaguely-rapey dillhole if you tried.

Okay, let's see if I've got this right...  Ray drops his tech somewhere in Norway, and that's where Savage picks it up.  Jefferson, Stein, and Sara go to America to find Marty.  We allow them the artistic license to pretend they get there super fast, because they're traveling in a ship from the future.  They steal the tech tracker, and somehow, magically, in all the world, Vandal Savage's mystery science base where Ray's lost tech is being held is close enough to Stein's old college that Marty is able to wake up from being knocked out and--somehow--track them down?  Meanwhile Savage has traveled from Norway, to his secret science base in (presumably) America, and made it back to his home in (potentially?) Russia all in the space of a day? 
This is making my head hurt.

Really?  You're gonna tell him to get off the ship, but you're not going to tell him to go to the freaking party?  FOR SERIOUS?

Well, that is an adorable little toy suit.  I wish they had made it with joints, but it's still pretty cute.

 Phenomenal Cosmic Power.  Itty Bitty Living Space.

Whoa, Carter got stabbed.  I was not expecting that.  I thought they were just going to lose but narrowly escape without suffering any real damage--like you do. 

I do kinda like the twist that Chay-ara is going to have to be the one to kill Savage eventually.  It feels very empowering.

HOLY SHIT!  He actually DIED!  I was REALLY not expecting that. 

I like it, though, as a plot point.  Carter was kind of an asshole.  I've been pretty explicit about that.  This gives us a chance to pick up a new Khufu, from a different time, and have him be different, as a character.

Oh, isn't that nice.  We've decided to try following a plan, so we don't inevitably wreck the time stream.  Awesome.

Of course, if they really want to keep from wrecking the future, they're going to need to consider killing Vandal Savage much closer to 2166.  Otherwise they are going to rewrite huge segments of history in which he participated.  Plus, I just want to see what the fashion room comes up with for 2165.