Flash 2x06

Here's what I don't get about "Doctor Light" (still fucking pissed about that stupid name, BTW).  I get that Barry might not be moving faster than the speed of light (although if he can make speed illusions of himself and travel through MOTHER FUCKING TIME then he surely CAN, but maybe he doesn't ALWAYS run that fast) so her bolts could hit him.  BUT, surely her ARMS aren't faster than the speed of light.  Why, oh why, when she moves her arms does he not just run around behind her?  He's fast enough to catch three mother fucking bullets, he doesn't have to LET HER HIT HIM.

Which is, of course, why this has to be a set up.

But it bothered me last episode, too.

Hahahahahahaha.  Hardass calls Cisco "Ramone."  Please, please, never send him back to his home dimension.  He provides me with so much joy.

Dude, Caitlyn about had an orgasm when she said "vibing."  She's such a groupie.  I mean hell, she was even gonna bang Mr. Lost My Super Speed.  She needs a power of her own.

Tom Cavanagh is actually a really good actor.  He could have shown the pride without having to literally explain that his daughter was his greatest delight.  Seriously.  I'm gonna have these writers taken out and shot.  With a bazooka.

And here we go, in the "completely unneccessary secrets" file, we have the fact that Spivot doesn't get to know that the Flash is holding some metas. 

OH!!! SPIVOT GOT GAME!!! SHE GOT GAAAAAAAAAAAAME!

Damnit.  I didn't want to like this relationship, but now I do.

That was dumb, Cisco.  Super, wicked, fucking dumb.  I figured it out the moment I saw the clothes.  YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A GENIUS!

"I'm keeping my options open."  PREACH, JOE!

AHAHAHAHAAHAH!!! And just when I'm mad at the writers, they pull out a gem.  Wonder what happened at Barry's HS football tryouts.

Hardass is gonna stab Cisco.  Then he'll have been killed by two DIFFERENT Wells!

Is that a SONIC SCREWDRIVER?

They really should just consider asking him.  You know?  He might tell them.

Okay, I'm just gonna point out:  They're letting LINDA know that every single one of those people knows Flash personally.  AND they're letting her know that there's a Hardass doppleganger walking around.  AND SHE'S A MOTHER FUCKING REPORTER WHO IS PROGRAMMED TO TELL PEOPLE SHIT.  But they're not going to tell Spivot, who already knows that Joe works with the Flash, that the Flash holds some metahumans personally and that's why the Light case was closed... WHY NOW?

Dear human girl.  Do not point the thing that explodes stuff with light at your face.  Bad idea.

Don't high five, either.

OH MY GOD!!!  AND NOW SHE KNOWS WHO BARRY IS!!! 

I mean, I don't really care.  It's fine with me.  But why aren't they telling SPIVOT?

I'm seriously disappointed you haven't done more than make out with him, to be honest.  I mean, damn, girl.  Y'all dated for a while.

FUCK YOU TV SHOW WITH YOUR STUPID TROPE OF NOT EXPLAINING THINGS IN ORDER TO CREATE FALSE DRAMA.  JUST FUCKING TELL HER THE FLASH IS USING DR LIGHT TO LURE OUT ZOOM.  JESUS CHRIST.

Uh, that smoke is super unnatural, so now I think the real Dr Light is hidden in it.

Ummm... so, aside from general hilarity, what is the point of all this?  I mean, seriously?  Do they think Zoom is watching them?  If he was, why would he need the insignia thrown through?  Why can't they just huck through the fucking medallion and be done with it?

Ohhhhhhhhhhh... the weird smoke is the portal.

Why do they not just start calling the old Wells "Eobard" or even "Thon"?  Wouldn't that make it easier?  And more accurate?

I'm pretty sure Joe just told Barry to be a man whore.

Well, it certainly looks like Barry took the advice that way, however it was intended.

HEY, I HAVE A GREAT IDEA!!!! IRIS AND LINDA SHOULD BANG! 

Of course, that will be hard if she gets turned into a pancake.

Oh dear.  That Zoom fellow broke Barry's spine.  Poor form.

Well.  I saw that coming.  They needed a delivery device that was keyed to Zoom's genetic code or something.

OF COURSE YOU CAN'T FEEL YOUR LEGS, THAT MAN BROKE YOUR SPINE!